museletter

Queens of the Tarot

Jen Yi

08 Jul 2023 • 4 min read

As a cisgender woman, I never felt like I fit the stereotypical feminine archetype. I was never going to be a Kelly Kapowski. And as much I related more to studious Jessie Spano, I was not gonna be her either. I felt like Screech. One weird comment away from being shoved into a locker. Growing up with the pop culture of the 80s and 90s sucked for a cisgender woman, especially being a weirdo, half Korean, half white, and poor in small midwestern towns. Dialogue about gender fluidity and non-binary did not exist. “The Pregnant Man” Thomas Beatie wouldn’t appear on Oprah until 2008. My Korean immigrant mother did not understand what it meant to be an adolescent in the U.S. She was still under the impression that her green-haired, goth daughter might decide to be a cheerleader one day.

Images of characters from *Saved by the Bell*, male identifying characters on left with Screech in a locker, female identifying characters on right side.

Learning about the experiences and perspectives of non-binary and transgender people made me reflect on my own gender. Was my gender socialized into me or was I innately a woman? Did I just choose to go along with my genitals because it was easier? While I never truly felt like a girly girl, I definitely do not feel male. I feel I have masculine qualities, but who decided what is considered masculine? I do not fit into and reject the patriarchal feminine tropes, but I very much identify as a woman. I acknowledge my duality as nature.

When I first started learning tarot, I was drawn to the Queens. Through years of needing to be self-reliant, being a young single mother since age 20, I had become hardened off, extremely boundaried about my emotions. Emotions were a distraction from the day to day grind. All of this started to catch up with me in late 30s and I had a mental breakdown triggered by work stress. My marriage was suffering. I was drinking one to two bottles of wine per night. I sought external validation which had rewarded me in the past, but this time it was not working. So…

I went to therapy. I took medication. I had some revelations. I discovered witchcraft.

The Queens of the tarot demonstrate strength in softness, a concept I am still learning. I once had a supervisor tell me that condescension is not the same as competence. Basically, I was bullying other nurses when I thought I was teaching them. Was I the only one shamed into obedience as a child? I was a R E A L bitch for a long time. It was a protective mechanism to shield me from hurt. Anger, frustration, irritation were emotions I was well in touch with. I had left melancholy behind in the 90s and thoughts of true satisfaction behind with parenthood.

Learning about the Queens of the tarot has taught me how to embrace and balance my natural duality. Queens correspond to Water, intuition, emotions, creativity, and internal influence. The four Queens provide inner stability of the Court cards and each one may serve as a mentor depending on your intentions. Using the different suits of Queens mixes Water with the other elements and astrological correspondences:

Queen of Wands: Aries + 1st house, Water + Fire
Queen of Cups: Cancer + 4th house, Water + Water
Queen of Swords: Libra + 7th house, Water + Air
Queen of Pentacles: Capricorn + 10th house, Water + Earth

These four houses create important angular points in the birth chart that correspond with ASC, DSC, MC, and IC. The ASC in the 1st house is your Rising sign, your true essence, opposite your shadowy DSC in the 7th house of relationships and connections. These houses demonstrate how you relate to yourself and others. This is the Aries/Libra axis of Me vs We. The IC is in the 4th house at the bottom of the birth chart, the base, the foundation where you grow your home roots. The MC is in the 10th house at the top of the chart, where you can see your highest path. This is the Cancer/Capricorn axis of Private vs Public. Embracing the energy of each of the Queens can help you balance these vital angles of your birth chart.

Plunging into the depths of the Queens has made me a better feminist. More well rounded in my understanding of the nuances femininity, respectful for the choices of others. Reconstructing my own language around tarot and astrology has brought me to conclusion that the Queens build on the lessons of the Pages and Knights while balancing the energy of the Kings. They are tapped into their intuition with quiet concentration. I don’t believe in the hierarchy of the Court cards. You would seek the counsel of the Queens for different matters compared to the King. They are like nurses in healthcare. The doctors get much of the credit, but the nurses are behind the scenes getting shit done. A nurse is not someone who failed to ascend to be a doctor just as a Queen is not a step below a King.

Meme of unknown origin depicting dialysis machine, multiple IV pumps, monitoring equipment at the bedside of an ICU patient. In my 17 years of nursing, I never met a doctor who knew how to use any of this equipment to actually help the patient.

It is Cancer season which has me feeling Queen energy. I propose we move Mother’s Day to Cancer season! My Seasonal Affective Disorder shifted to summer after the death of my father in law. Summers were fun and carefree after I met my husband and his family. Then his father got brain cancer, rapidly declined the summer of 2020, and died that October. Summers have felt different ever since and if I am not cognizant, I can slip. Wane with the Sun after the solstice. Aligning with the intuitive caretaker of Cancer, I decided to deep dive into the Queens as part of my self-nurturing. I will dedicate a post to each of the Queens of the Tarot.